Maybe it's Maybelline.

I love Maybellines, especially the old express finishes with the grey caps.  There is something so nostalgic about them, and I really love the bottle shape. With that said, I don't know if it's a coincidence or if I'm a nut job but the gold cap express finishes seem to always be streaky and it pisses me off to have to thin a brand new bottle of polish. 

Every time I apply a gold cap express finish and it streaks horribly across my freshly prepped, clean and shiny, lovingly base coated, unsuspecting nail, I think really LOUDLY in my head, "MAYBE IT'S NOT FUCKING MAYBELLINE!".  Yeah, I can think to myself in different volumes, and yeah that is the first official full force F-bomb on mah blog.  I think it went over quite well.  Seriously when a polish ruins 20 minutes of filing and moisturizing, base coating and prepping, I strongly consider walking into my kitchen grabbing the hammer out of my pot holder drawer and taking it to every shiny surface in sight.  But I don't because that would mess up the rest of my manicure.

In all honesty, some of the grey cappers streak too.  I just need to point a finger at something and those ugly ass gold caps are just gonna have to take the blame.  Somebody has to take the fall and it's you, you hideous gold caps.  Maybe if you weren't so GOLD and gaudy you could have flown under the radar, but Noooo you just had to be loud and stupid and GOLD.  Is this EGYPT Maybelline?  Are we in King Tut's tomb?  Last time I checked, The answer was NO!  So, stop gold plating random things that AREN'T JEWELRY. 

Maybe I'm wrong and Maybelline is 100% on point.  But my toothbrush and shoe laces aren't gold plated so I'm pretty freakin sure this isn't Egypt circa 1333 BC.

So, in this ONE isolated instance do not listen to me. The grey cap Maybelline express finishes are capable of streaking just as bad as the gold ones. 

 This one applied awesome.  2 thin coats to achieve bottle color.  Purdy.  This is like the ONLY heavily orange based red I can wear and have my hands remain normal looking.

I kinda liked this color but was it worth 4 coats to cover the streaks?  NO!  Was it even worth typing the ridiculously long and STUPID name so I could post it?  Kinda, because I wanted to tell you guys how hard it was for me to type "blet" when all I wanted in the world at that moment was to type "BLEH!"

I think this swatch reveals what a pain this was to apply.  It was wierd.  Streaky and runny at the same time.  But only 3 coats.  I bought this polish because in the store it looked like a creme that would perfectly match my skin tone.  I got it home to find it was a pinkish, yellowish, nude SHIMMER.

This took 5 coats to be opaque, but it's not meant to be opaque so its ok.  But good LORD it is SO streaky.  It's like trying to apply polish with a brush a 4th grader made out of pine straw at summer camp.

I have a love hate relationship with this one.  LOVE- because it looks VERY close to Ruby Pumps. HATE- because it looks VERY close to Ruby Pumps.  This is the closest ruby pumps dupe I have found but who cares. Maybelline can't touch it because Ruby Pumps is RUBY EFFING PUMPS, it is THE red glitter. Nuff said.